Life may suddenly take a major twist and we are left wondering what’s next while blaming each and everyone for all your misfortunes. We even start loving ourselves less and stop taking care of ourselves just because all we think about is searching for answers.
But the question is, where did the rain start beating us?
Most of the time we tend to ignore all the possible signs paraded to us by our spouses, the writings might be clear on the wall but we always turn a blind eye on them hoping that all will be well with time. However, this is where we all go wrong. It is so unfortunate that some people are staying in toxic relationships with hopes that their partners will change one day. Crying themselves to sleep and waking up the following day faking that smile has become a norm that people have adopted.
Some may claim that their partners changed after marrying them. But let us be frank here, a person does not just wake up one morning and become violent, womanizer, drunkard, abusive, alcoholic etc. There must be those signs you might have missed out maybe during courtship or maybe you just decided to ignore them believing that parenthood might change them or rather a ring on your finger might do miracles.
What we all forget is that a ring cannot tame anyone or traditional introduction to family doesn’t change them. That is when we are now caught up in toxic relationships and marriages with fear of what will happen next if we let it go. Some even decide to stay with fears of being judged by the society.
It is so unfortunate that people are blinded with what is placed on the table and you may be aware that your partner is abusive or even cheating on you but the fact that they are the breadwinners in the family, you stick around because you feel like in case you leave you may languish in poverty or miss out on some privileges. Some will even use children as an excuse to why they can’t walk out from abusive relationships and marriages with fear of becoming single parents.
What is important here is your mental health and peace of mind. Don’t give up on your mental health in the name of waiting upon him/her to change and become the partner you envisioned for. We have heard or witnessed people committing suicide, others being abused and killed by their partners and spouses in the name of love and betrayal. Knowing your partner well enough is important before making the I do decision. However, I understand others even never get to the ‘I do’ stage but during that period of courtship that is when you need to learn their strengths and weaknesses. If he is an alcoholic, don’t expect him to change when he marries you, if he/she abuses you or always violent, don’t expect for miracles to happen because they will still abuse you even if you bore them children.
The point is clear, do not wait until things get out of control for you to realize that you have been living in denial and in captivity. If your partner doesn’t respect you or love you enough, sweetheart wake up from that love fantasy. There is nothing like loving later, its either he/she loves you or doesn’t.
Never sacrifice your dignity and health in the name of hoping things to get better. With many depression and suicidal cases all over explains how the power of lover has been misinterpreted and misunderstood. Do not wait until you are buried six feet under just because you were still holding on something you knew very well wasn’t working. It is good to be hopeful but as you pray about it, love yourself more and walk away from anything that is draining you. Know when enough is enough.